Our hearts break for the teenagers and pre-teens out there. They’re bombarded from every angle with the temptation to compare and find their worth in others’ opinions instead of who God made them to be. If you’re looking to bond with your pre-teen, here are some conversations and questions you can use as starting points.

1. “Tell me about your friends.”

Ask about who they’re spending time with and what they like about their friends. This shows you care about their social world and gives insight into who influences them.

2. “What’s something you wish adults understood better?”

This gives your pre-teen a chance to express frustrations they might feel about adults, school, or rules. Listening without judgment can help them feel heard.

3. “What are you most proud of right now?”

Celebrate their achievements, big or small, and let them know you notice their efforts.

4. “What worries you the most?”

Discussing fears openly can ease anxieties and build trust, letting them know you’re there for support.

5. “If you could change one rule at home, what would it be?”

This playful question can reveal what they find challenging and helps you discuss boundaries together.

6. “What’s the best thing that happened this week?”

Encourage positivity by focusing on the good moments. It’s a great way to get them to share more about their daily life.

7. “How do you feel about school lately?”

School can be a big part of their life. Asking this lets them vent about any struggles and share victories.

8. “What’s your favorite song/movie right now and why?”

Learning about their interests can help you bond over shared likes and discover more about their personality. And knowing the music they’re listening to can give you some BIG-TIME insights into their world and what voices and words they’re hearing the most.

9. “What do you wish you could try?”

Whether it’s a new sport or hobby, encouraging new interests shows your support for their growth. They may surprise you!

10. “What’s something you feel adults don’t understand about being a kid today?”

This can open up a lot of insightful conversations about the pressures they face and makes them feel validated.

No matter what, we’ve heard from people (who are much more educated on the topics of anxious teens) that quality time with your kids – even if you don’t talk about anything important – is the most important way you can support them. They need conversations, yes. But mostly, they just need you to show up and love them. Cheers to your upcoming conversations and adventures with your pre-teens!